Monday, November 29, 2010

Great Expectations

The 2011 STL Bike Polo Lock-In will set the bar impossibly high for the 2011 Bike Polo year. Days..Weeks..Months after the Lock-In concludes, you will still find yourself searching for a polo event that tops that cold January weekend in St. Louis, Missouri. Sadly, nothing will surpass the fun you have at the 2011 STL Bike Polo Lock-In...until we do it again in 2012.

You may be wondering what to expect from the 2011 STL Bike Polo Lock-In, and we would be happy to give you a taste of what you will experience when you enter our 24-hour shitshow.


- Expect a party where some polo will be played. We are hosting a party where polo will be possible most of the night. But be warned: If you are showing up expecting to play 30 games of polo, you are going to be disappointed. Be open and flexible and leave your serious polo attitude at home.

- If you attended the last Lock-In, expect to see fewer people. This year, we have kept the numbers down. Last year, we let over 100 people through the doors. This year, you won’t see more than 65 polo players. Say “bye bye” to next game piles running 14 games deep.

- Expect a random hour of roller-skating. Bring your skates if you have them. Shoot the duck if you can.

- Expect to be surrounded by fun people. Instead of a first-come-first-serve, open door policy, we have made this year’s Lock-In more select and intimate. This simple fact should make this Lock-In more pleasant for everyone involved. Just remember, the way you handle yourself at this Lock-In could influence whether or not you are invited to the next Lock-In.

- Expect to enjoy some quality, free beer. Our friends at O’Fallon Brewery have generously donated a large amount of beer to our party. But feel free to backpack in whatever beer/liquor/moonshine/snacks you would like to enjoy on your own throughout the night. Bring whatever you like, just try to avoid waving it around the rink staff like a moron.

- Expect to be put on notice. The number one rule of the STL Bike Polo Lock-In is “Have fun.” The second rule is “Don’t be a dick.” Everyone will be put on notice. It will be like a neighborhood watch. If you see someone being a dick, say something to that person or a member of STL Bike Polo. The main thing we are looking out for is mallet stacking (ie. Putting more than one mallet in the line of next game piles). No one is special. No one at the Lock-In is a unique snowflake. You are all equal. Anyone trying to get his or her unfair share of polo will be punished (your bike may be u-locked, your mallets may be stolen, or we may just throw you out onto the cold St. Louis streets ((good luck surviving the most dangerous city in the US))). We will be dicks about enforcing this rule.


- We expect to have fun, and we expect you to have fun. Anyone ruining our fun will be excommunicated from the party.

Andrew W.K - we want fun

Plead Insanity | Myspace Video

- We expect to have a party, and we expect you to party. If we play a little polo too, great.

- We expect you to respect the building and the people around you. Failure to do so will have consequences.

Does all of that sound good? Good.

More info will be posted soon.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Some of our favorite answers thus far...

1.) Your Name: The Girl


3.) Why do you want to attend the Lock-In? Did it last year, met the love of my life and divorced her a month ago; looking for second go.


3.) Why do you want to attend the Lock-In? To Shred and make sure people properly empty beverage containers. No soldier left behind.

-Tim D.

3.) Why do you want to attend the Lock-In? I, Vince F., do wish to attend the Lock-In because I am considering going back to school for a graduate degree in Getting Fucked Up. After extensive research, I've determined that only in partnership with StL Bike Polo do I have a chance to perfect the art of "Beer Spraying" and "Coaster Shooting" which are two of the many areas of study available for me to specialize in.

-Vince (cowbell thief)

4) What do you expect from the Lock-In? From the lock-in, I expect no more than to be allowed entry. The party is all about who decides to step up and make it a good one, not about what expectations you have of someone else doing that for you. I'm just saying that I don't have to expect anything from you guys because we the partiers will bring the mother fuckin' party and I accept the responsibility of doing just that.

-Nick K.

4.) What do you expect from the Lock-In? More tiny bottles of booze in the piƱata.

-Brian (Lex)

5.) Do you plan on sleeping at the Lock-In? No. 24+ hours wasn't enough last year. I'm hoping we pull off 48 hours with no sleep as a group, as brothers in polo, for the children.

-CoMo Chris in Chicago

5.) Do you plan on sleeping at the Lock-In? Really? Maybe with somebody, but that’s only if I get lucky. And not with Lucky...maybe with Lucky.

-Lefty Joe

5.) Do you plan on sleeping at the Lock-In? There is absolutely no chance that I will (voluntarily) sleep at the Lock-In. I may get knocked out sacrificing my body for a game-winning-goal or a massive boost off the kicker ramp in Kikkelo, but I will never willingly sleep at the Lock-In. What a waste. I fully intend to party for more than 24-hours straight on the weekend of January 15, 2011. Anything less will be considered failure in my mind.


6.) If you attended last year's Lock-In, what would you do/change to make this year's Lock-In better? Less food, more booze, and a ban on cycling hats and Floridians.

-Tim A.

6.) If you attended last year's Lock-In, what would you do/change to make this year's Lock-In better? Don’t invite Florida and more ramps!


8.) Finish this sentence: Having fun is…what makes the world go round.

-CoMo Megs

10.) Are you ready to have a blast at the Lock-In? No, I am having at least 4 blasts, probably Baja ones from Taco Bell to caffeinate me.


10.) Are you ready to have a blast at the Lock-In? YA!! FUCK BOSTON'S LOCK-IN!!

-Patrick (Lex)

Dear Sir / Madame:

My name is Andrew, a representitive of Chicago Bike Polo. I am writing you in response to your opening for 24-hour polo player. While this position is demanding and requires endurance and fortitude, I am more than ready to meet the challenges such a position requires. I can bring my full skill set in the areas of partying and playing polo, as well as my previous experience in the 24-hour polo playing field.

The things I can take away from my previous experience is that while beer and fine food nourishes, it also can encourage sleep if not distributed right. This year I can feast on fine food and stick to a strict regiment of King Dewies and/or Four Lokos in quantities large enough to fuel a party machine, yet complete enough as to not drive that party machine off into the mean-drunk abyss, nor drive that party machine off the self-injury cliff.

I expect this position to provide to me a fountain from which to drink beverages that will fuel the party machine, and in return I will help keep that party machine working. I will throw down for hot-n-readys, provide ice packs so that the joints of other partiers will allow them to continue to party, help prepare food, obtain spirits and beverages, and will do whatever it takes so that the party can continue all day through the night until the sun rises over the party yet again and shine its rays upon the many excellent partiers. This year I will also bring a helmet, maybe two. I will also change the oil on Little Tanfastic if it will mean that the party can be even more excellent.

Having fun is awesome, and having fun with everybody else also having
fun is mind-blowing. There is only one word that describes me completely, and that is Dumptruck. I am ready to have a blast at the Lock-In, it is what I was born for.

I am Dumptruck, I am ready to party.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Consider this...

If I were you, I would probably be stocking up on this stuff NOW. When hour 19 of the Lock-In rolls around, you may need a caffeine boost, and FourLokos of the future that are missing three of the four Lokos just won't suffice.

This man wouldn't steer you wrong.